Christmas List

I don’t normally make Christmas lists… I haven’t since I got married, and lost my girls. I guess that Christmas really just lost it’s magic for me after I lost them after our first Christmas together. Before that it was seriously my favorite holiday. I used to get in trouble in school, because I would be singing Christmas songs on repeat in the middle of like April. Lately, though I feel like I have been having a lot of people asking me what I want for Christmas. Lots of if miracles could happen what would you really want…

My Christmas List

If miracles could happen I would love to be able to have everything simply fall in to place for me. I have fought so long, and made miracles happen for so many people that I would love it if something…  just something could happen for me. I truly feel as if I am dying on the inside a little more every day. The girl who was so fun loving and happy is slowly crumbling apart and being swept away in the wind.

I am pushing so hard to finish school this May/June so that I will be able to get my license so I can get my career going. So that I can put my life in my own hands something that I have never had. Everyone is like that is just a few months away you can do it! Then, I come home and I listen to my Father complain. Listen to how much of a burden I am… about how I should be supporting them. I just deflate… doesn’t matter how much I clean or help it never changes.

There have been many times where I haven’t been able to go to school, because my parents get in a mood… then they don’t want me to take the car. Well there is no bus in Summerville… they gave away my bike… they refused to allow me to drive the moped I bought, and had to give away… and I can’t walk 15 miles if they would even let me. So there are plenty of times I am just shit outta luck.

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~ by Snow on December 8, 2013.

2 Responses to “Christmas List”

  1. Stay strong hun, things will work out in the end, I know things are hard I believe that you will make it through these times which have hurt you, pushed you, and what not a stronger person. All of this will one day be behind you and because of these times and hardships it will enable you to thrive. I hope everything falls into place for you and you get everything you want and need for Christmas. If you ever want to talk feel free to call me, most times I am not doing much. I am here for you hun, don’t ever forget that.

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