Wishing Christmas away…

You would think by now almost a year after me and Nick separated that I would have been able to pick myself up. You would think that I would have a job by now… Sadly though I have gotten really close especially lately I don’t have a job yet.

Some people bitch and complain about not working, but they aren’t actually trying… I do though. I have been filling out application, and going to interviews as time and the small amount of gas that I am given allows. Due to school I have had to turn down several positions, because people want me to work during school hours which sadly I can not do.

Right now I’m sitting at my darkest point. Christmas is very quickly approaching, and this will be the first since I started working at 16 that I will not be able to afford to by anyone a present of any sort. I don’t even have the money to bake cookies.

I have never faced this road before, and I have found that even thinking about it shoots my anxiety so high that my throat instantly constricts. At this point the only thing I can do is wish Christmas away… pray that no one gets me anything, because I can’t return it.

Giving gifts is how I show my love… and without that I don’t know what to do.

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~ by Snow on November 27, 2013.

One Response to “Wishing Christmas away…”

  1. I hope that your Christmas turns out well, it is not about what we can give to others, or what we receive, its about spending time with those we care about the one thing we can never return never get back is our time. Find the time to do something special with those that give you things, explain your situation and even if its just sitting together and watching something on TV, spend time together and let that person know that you love and care for them as best as you can. I can understand not having the money to do gifts, it is not easy but everyone has down times in their life so those that get you things should understand if they don’t then they are not really worth it are they?

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