So Carl came over today, and we got to chill in the living room and watch movies and cuddle for a few hours. He got to meet my parents who both surprisingly seem to like him. (They don’t like anyone)

I haven’t invited anyone to my house in a very long time. So believe me my parents were both fairly amazed when I told them that he was going to be coming over. All that my mom had to say about it was that she didn’t want us back in my room. Okay… I’m almost 25, but it’s your house w/e.

So I connected my computer via the HDMI cable to the TV in the front room, and we turned on a horror/thriller movie that I actually really liked. Normally I don’t do a lot of horror movies, but this one was actually pretty neat.

I enjoyed spending time just cuddling with him, but it was kind of over whelming and scary. All I could feel was the warmth of just total acceptance from him, and I really did love it.

Truthfully he really does scare me, because part of me is scared to trust anyone. I am so tired of the drama, pain, rejection, and hurt that I seem to just cycle through over and over again. I just want someone who can accept me for who I am.

Now I am not saying that I want to marry him tomorrow, but this is serious… I can’t even be who I am with a lot of the people who pretend to be my friends. So I spend so much time hiding away who I am at times she seems to just get a little lost.

I want people that can stand beside me no matter what. I need good friends before I can ask them for anything more. Even if Carmen walks away… I don’t want to just jump into another relationship.

I want to someone to slowly take the bricks down from around me, and just crawl inside me. I don’t want to know where there heart begins and mine ends. I want it to completely over lap. I want someone that is willing to get to know me as intimately as I want to know them.


~ by Snow on November 13, 2013.

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