Beyond Low

My kajira lives with two of my “friends.” Sunday… I needed to be around people to be comforted. My kajira knew that and asked them if it was okay for me to come over. One of them is her other “Dominant”, and that day was suppose to be her’s. Though, I was told by all of them to come over… so I did and I wish I never did.

No I didn’t break down crying the entire time. Soon as I had gotten there her “Dominant” was already upset. So the first hour and a half that I was there my kajira was comforting her. So I ended up spending a little less then 5 hours with all of them the entire day, and because of that I have gained nothing but shit about it. It is not like I took my kajira to her room and locked the door. No I spent time talking and hanging out with all of them.

Though, I got told my kajira in wanted to comfort me the ONE FUCKING TIME I am upset she was taking advantage of her so called “Dominant” wtf is that? Her “Dominant” is suppose to be my friend! She was my friend before she ever knew my kajira!!! So that fact that she was more worried about losing time with her when she fucking lives with her and spends every single day with her? Yeah fuck that shit I am done.

I do not care if I upset her “fragile” emotional state right now. I am tired of being treated like shit, and letting her walk on me. I am not doing it any more period, because apparently

  • I don’t matter
  • She doesn’t care about me
  • My emotions
  • My thoughts
  • My feelings
  • How I am feeling
  • What I have done to help her

Normally I don’t regret much, but I regret having said I was okay with them being in a relationship together.

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~ by Snow on July 30, 2013.

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