Broken become new

Lately, it seems that my life has been shattering into piece, and that I have no control over it. Over the last month I have been dealing with my divorce proceedings.  That alone has made everything warp in my life. Time became a blur… and commitments were swept away. I think I only took half the the meds that I was suppose to take this month, and I’m sure when I go see my Dr. he’s going to be thrilled about that.

Next, my brother is trying to hurt our Father and take him to court. Sadly everything he wants to take him to court for is fake… So I’m going to have to go be a witness in court for my Father against my brother July 2nd….. not something that I am looking forward too.

Then, I found out that someone that I have known since I first entered my lifestyle has passed away. I didn’t know his favorite color or what he liked to eat, but I do remember the stories that he told me. I also think about all the times he took time just to simply listen to me.

The same day that I found out about that my Dad class wanting to know if I know anything about my brothers kids. Which of course I don’t since he’s pissed I’m not taking his side… So I learned that my brother told his boss that he needed time off, because one of my nephews was supposedly in a body cast with pins and etc through it. Which he later found out was also a lie.

Last, I found that I’m barely passing my classes, and to my relief Nick has grounded me from playing on any computer games till the class is finished. Which will be this up and coming Monday. At this point all I have left is to finish my paper.

Though, I like to write a blog or two before I start my papers, because I find that it gets me into the right head space…

So the point of this blog is if I have been distant, distracted, lost, confused, and etc over the month this is why… and I am sorry.

P.S. I am also working to support me and Nick by myself at the moment. Though, he should be starting work soon in the very near future.

Have you ever seen a Mosaic? It’s where someone takes a tile and breaks it into a million pieces and makes it into something beautiful. That’s how I feel right now. I feel like I am shattered, but that all the pieces are going to be put into this beautiful mosaic. Though, I don’t look beautiful right now more like a puzzle with a lost of pieces missing. I know that I am become something beautiful and new, and that’s okay with me.


~ by Snow on June 29, 2012.

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