I am my father’s daughter

I am ______________ the last daughter of  _____________ the second I believe. I am not normally the kind of person that gets into drama. Personally I don’t like drama nor do I like to get involved in anything though there are points in my life where I have found that it is necessary, and today would be one of them. I received an email from Joey my brother that I’m going to break down for everyone.
First, I want to say I probably do not know Joey that well. I know that I met him when I was a small child, but I don’t remember any of that. My contact with Joey was once when Billy was like 3 years old him and Heather came to visit. Then, about 9 or 10 months ago Joey, Heather, Billy, and Aaron came to stay with my parents for like 2 weeks. I thought they were all really cool at this point, and my parents loved them. If you asked either of the boys to do anything they would jump up instantly. If you were about to do something they would jump up to you help you and etc.

Then, there are my parents. Particularly my dad since he’s the one that the letter I received is bashing over and over again. My Dad is a pretty rough around the edges kind of guy that most people would be scared of before you meet him. Though, once you get to know him you realize that if he could he would give you the clothes on his back to see you smile. He’s a little close minded and old fashion, but he’s my dad. He isn’t the brightest person at money management, but if he borrows money from you or someone else as long as he’s alive he will try to pay you back 10 fold. I know this from personal experience, because I have loaned and given my Dad more money than this letter even talks about.

Next, the reason why I’m going to do this isn’t because I’m bias, but because no one is around here to see what truly has happened down here over the last not 6 but 8 months. My dad isn’t going to come on here and defend himself. I’m sure that there is going to be a nice little click that is going to dismiss my words and side with Joey, and I don’t really care if there is. Though, I am not going to just let him bash my Dad and not at least tell my parents story.
This is the original email untouched that I received about 18 hours ago from my brother.

“”Hello all,
Just wanted to pass this by everyone…
I have a problem…

Let me set the scene for you… About 9 months ago my father calls me and said he is in a bind… He needed to barrow some money… I asked well how much do you need? He said $1500 will help him out of his bind… So without a 2nd thought… I wired him the $1500 dollars… He promised to pay me back…
Well 3 weeks later I was passing through SC ( my Dads home state) on my way to NC to go to school …

He begged and pleaded with me to stay there with him and go to school there in SC… He said it would be a good chance to get to know his grandchildren… I kept turning him down and told him I was going to NC… Well after some great deal of pleading I decided to stay there with him and go to school in SC…
He opened his home to me and his grandchildren…
He did not say can I rent you a room… No he invited me and my sons into his home…

While at his home I purchased me a hot tub… Never had one before and always wanted me one…
I also bought me a little sports car… always wanted a car with no back seat…

You see I retired from the State of Florida and had cashed in my retirement to go to school and not have to work while I went to school… my plans were great… 

Me buying the hot tub and sports car came because I did not have to pay rent… I was Dads guest while I went to school…
Well I should have seen through his white lies… Dad was in great debt and had planned to milk me dry…

Let me show you..

Loan: $1500.00
Oct: $500.00
Nov: $500.00
Dec: $300.00
Covered his check account: (3) times
a. $150.00
b. $120.00
c. $50.00
When I did my title loan you got: $500.00
When I pawned my laptop: $200.00
When I took off for funeral: $100.00
All the money in back up jar Used $110.00 ???

You see I had to take out a title loan… My mother came down with Colon Cancer… I did what I had to to help her… I also had to pawn my lap top to help sustain myself… I also had to get a job in the middle of my schooling… I did what I had to with no regrets…
Well one day Dad comes in (in the middle of the month) and said I had to leave… No advance warning nothing… He said he didn’t care If I moved into my jeep with my boys… Then he started telling everyone I knew that I was a freeloader and he was paying for everything…

4030/6 = $671.67 
If I was paying rent I would have paid $671.67 a month… 
At no time did we every discuss rent or a rental agreement… He was using me to get out of debt and I let him… 
Well today I go to get the rest of my things including my Hot tub… He said it was a gift and he was keeping it… Told me I would have to take him to court to get back my hot tub!!!

So this is where I am at… Family … Friends … What should I do?

I have the receipts for the hot tub… it’s in my name… He locked the gate so that I can’t get it…
All I want to do is move on with my life with my things…
Puzzled and confused Son””

Now I am going to break this message down piece by piece to make a clearer perspective for everyone. My dad didn’t “beg” my brother to come here instead of going to North Carolina he did suggest that he could come here. No, rent was never discussed all my Dad asked was that he help him with food and the bills if they became too high.

I can’t answer the question if there was a 1500.00 wire transactions. Though, what I can say is my Dad always comes to me for money first, and to my knowledge until Joey was staying there he didn’t have any money issues other than his normal debt which I promise you is a lot higher than a mere 1500.00 dollars, and he will be the first person to tell you he is far from being part of the 1%. That in fact he is the definition of the 99%. Though, for my logic we will say that there may have been one.

Loan: $1500.00
Oct: $500.00
Nov: $500.00
Dec: $300.00
Covered his check account: (3) times
a. $150.00
b. $120.00
c. $50.00
When I did my title loan you got: $500.00
When I pawned my laptop: $200.00
When I took off for funeral: $100.00
All the money in back up jar Used $110.00 ???

Okay this jar that had 110.00 in it Dad got like 20.00 “Joey told Dad to get the money out, and he used to buy Aaron and Billy dinner” and Billy got the rest that he used to buy cigarettes and chew. [I know this because he not only told me, but showed me. I’m the one that told Dad to check his room over. Though at that point all Dad found was the smokes]

Laptop – Joey bought for somewhere around 2 grand. Not 100% on that but it’s the one Alien wear put out so you can check up on it. He used that money that he pawned it for to go to Florida for two weeks. Leaving Billy & Aaron at my parents to take care of the entire time he was gone.

Title Loan – Dad co-signed so that he would be able to move out. This wasn’t because Dad was kicking him out, but because he couldn’t afford the extra money that his landlord wanted him to pay to be able to keep Joey and the boys living there. Dad had told Joey everything that was going on, and asked him to get a job to be able to pay the extra money which I believe Joey paid once.
Dad, telling Joey he had to leave did not come about till after he nor Joey could or would pay the extra money. So his landlord pretty much told him he was either going to be gone or he was going to evict everyone that was in the house. So I’m not sure where Joey is getting the it happened all of a sudden, because I was there on multiple occasions of Dad telling Joey he was going to have to find a place. Even that though didn’t come about till after April the month Joey said that he would be gone. Though, he didn’t move out till the first week of this month being June.
Now I going to break down my normal budget on a monthly basis.

Rent 549.00
Food 350.00 [2 people]
Electric 150
Internet 35.00
Toiletries 50.00
Gass 100
Total = 884.00

Okay this was based on what I spend for myself and my fiancé. We are barely home due to work, school, and etc so I’m sure being home more would increase this by quite some amount. I also don’t pay water or sewage since I live in an apartment. Though when I was paying this before water was roughly 50 and sewage was a flat 30 every month so another 80.00 though that is still based on two people.

Now here is a rough break down on what dad was spending with Himself, mom, joey, aaron, and billy living in one house.

Rent 1k+
Eletric 500+
Water 200 +
Cable/internet/phone 150
Food roughly 300 per week
Total = 2,900+

Now before you say 300 a week??? WTF… Joey and his boys, where being made huge meals per day by my mother, and not just dinner. The three of them alone could eat 2 boxes worth of pancake mix by themselves. They also had food whenever they wanted. Go with the amount of food they were eating alone is more then I spend in an entire month on all of my bills.
So if he truly did give dad all the money that he said that he did. I think that he got away quite cheap since he wasn’t even hardly giving him a ¼ of what of he was spending on them in a month according to his own calculations.

Next, let me tell you this my mother washed all of their clothes, and cooked all of their meals which isn’t an easy job for her anymore since she has COPD and can barely see anymore with cataracts in both eyes. She didn’t even really complain about it till they refused to clean up after themselves.

Also during the period of time where they were staying Melissa who is James wife lost her wedding rings while they were visiting them. Then, after hearing Melissa’s rings were missing my mother started looking through her jewelry and was alarmed to find half of it missing. I’m not saying they stole it, but I am bringing to light that it’s quite interesting that jewelry disappeared from not one but two people while they were there.

Something else I found funny was that when I went over there to help clean up the horrible mess that Joey and the boys left. While dusting I noticed that not 1 but 2 photo albums where simply gone. One of which is a metal album that has my parents wedding photos, and most of my childhood life in it. Also an entire shoe box full of loose picture of mostly me and my nieces and nephews is gone as well. So if anyone happens to see these please let me know since those aren’t my parents but mine.

There are also a lot of other miscellaneous items from the house that have supposedly just gotten up and walked away. Now I’m not saying anyone stole them, but they don’t have rats and palmetto bugs aren’t quite that big.

So in conclusion to this message if you’re going to throw rocks at someone look at your own sins first, because this is only a quarter of the story there is a lot more to tell, but I have rattled on long enough. I hope that you have gained a little clearer picture from this, and see my dad isn’t the big evil person that he is being painted to be.

Oh! PS Totally forgot the hot tub in question I was there when he talked to Dad about getting it. Was told no save the money, use it for food, etc, and whatever. I was also there when he showed up with the damn thing and went surprise dad since you saved me so much money since the school in NC would have been sooo much more expensive this is for you….

Don’t know about you but when you give something as a present it’s not yours any more.


~ by Snow on June 12, 2012.

One Response to “I am my father’s daughter”

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